


Wedding Bell Blues

by hermione_vader



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Brotherly Affection, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Slash, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 13:38:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermione_vader/pseuds/hermione_vader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally written for Norsekink.  The Avengers attend Loki's wedding to Victor von Doom.  Tony can't believe it's real, Steve just wants to be respectful, and Thor has issues giving Loki away.  And that's <i>before</i> they know who the clergyman is...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wedding Bell Blues

Thor had faced many horrible foes and fought scores of terrible battles, but none of them had ever made him hyperventilate.  Not once.  Yet now he paced to and fro in one of Latveria Castle's dozens of bedrooms, his breathing gone completely shallow.  
  
"I cannot do this, Captain.  I cannot!" he told Steve as he pressed his hands against the wall.  "Loki cannot ask me to give him away!"  
  
"Well, I can understand why," Steve said from the bathroom.  "You wouldn't want to help unify two of the world's worst supervillains---"  
  
Thor slapped his hands against the wall.  "It's not that, Captain!  I cannot give my brother to a union that he never told me about!  He did not confide in me once!"  
  
"Uh, Thor, Loki _is_ your enemy."  
  
"And still my brother!  A simple word about it would have been nice!"  
  
The heavy oak door swung open.  Tony strolled in and sat down on the bed.  "Thor, you shouldn't look that good in a tux.  And I seriously hope this is an insane prank because your brother shouldn't look good in a dress."  
  
Thor turned around.  "Shouldn't you be downstairs?"  
  
"They sent me up to get you two."  Tony tilted his head sideways and stared at Thor.  "Are you going to pass out?"  
  
"A prince of Asgard does not know the meaning of unconsciousness!"  
  
"Do you plan on yelling that when your knees lock during the ceremony?"  
  
Steve walked into the bedroom and sighed.  "Tony, give him a break."  
  
Thor was about to give Tony a proper tongue-lashing when the one called Deadpool poked his masked head into the doorway.  
  
"Hi, guys.  Aren't you looking dapper?"  Deadpool seemed to smile behind his mask.  "The blushing bride just told me that if you three don't get your attractive asses downstairs, I'm totally allowed to use force and katanas."  
  
Thor glanced at the stone floor.  "I am most sorry, your Deadness---"    
  
"That'd be your Poolness."  
  
"I apologize, but I cannot."  
  
A katana stopped inches from his nose.  "You can and you will, dude."  
  
*  
  
Thor shuffled his feet as he and Loki stood at the back of the castle's chapel.  "Brother, why didn't you tell me?"  
  
Loki raised his eyebrows.  "Would it have mattered?"  
  
Thor threw his arms up.  "Yes, absolutely!  This is not something you just drop on someone through the Midgardian mail system!"  
  
"With all that's come between us, I really didn't think you would---"  
  
Thor kissed him slowly.  His knees knocked against Loki's white skirts.  "Of course it would."  
  
Loki gave him a heavy-lidded glance.  "You want me to call it off?"  
  
"Of course not, if he makes you happy.  But if he ever ceases to do so, then I shall slay---"  
  
Loki put his fingers over Thor's lips.  "You shall never have to."  
  
The music started up, and Thor looked at his brother one last time before they marched down the aisle.    
  
"You look beautiful," he whispered as they linked arms and took their first step.  
  
The trip down the aisle seemed to last a lifetime as they passed through so many skeptical, paranoid, and confused stares from guests who clearly wondered when Loki would turn his dress into a giant net.  Finally, they reached the front and Loki stepped onto the altar next to Doom.  Thor stood at the edge of the front pew.  
  
Deadpool stepped forward in a black cassock.  "Hey, there!  Gotta love the internet!  Anyway, ladies, gents, and everybody in between, we are gathered here today to join two totally sexy supervillains in holy matrimony.  So who here gives this Norse god to this Eastern European royal?"  
  
Thor waited for the answered and then realized that everyone was staring at _him_.  "Oh.  I do, your Poolness."  
  
Deadpool gave him a double thumbs up.  "Awesome."  
  
Thor took a deep breath and sat down in the first pew next to Steve and Tony.  
  
"Thor, I just want you to know that I'm really glad your brother went for a Kate Middleton-style gown instead of strapless," Tony whispered.  
  
Thor barely heard him as he watched Loki and Doom join hands.  The rest of the ceremony went smoothly, even if Steve and Tony kept glancing around nervously every five minutes.  
  
"I now pronounce you husband and...how PC do we want this to be?"  Deadpool asked.  "Okay, you may now suck as much face as you want to in front of everybody.  Congratulations!"  
  
And they did.  Thor clapped the loudest.


End file.
